Tag Archive: Loss

This definitely isn’t related to the movie.

This is just an amazing fairy tale gone wrong. I always thought that the kind of relationship I share with my guy, nobody can beat that. I was wrong. I misunderstood myself. I took it for granted.

Maybe not all love stories last. Maybe not all modern day Romeo and Juliet are meant to have a “happily ever after” life. Why was I in such a huge misconception? Why did I ever thought that no matter whatever happens, we will always be together? Why couldn’t I just be someone he wanted me to be?

I saw his message early morning that he wanted to grow apart. From the past one month, we hadn’t really been talking or seen each other. If we talked, we fought. If we didn’t talked, we felt ignored. I searched for excuses to talk to him. He just didn’t wanted to distract me from my studies.

I did stupid things which pissed him. I don’t blame him. Because I know I was at fault. My urge to break-free from a possessive relationship was taking a strong toll on me. Why did I have to act possessive if I can’t tolerate it myself. Since when did comparisons started coming between lovers? Why did I have to hide things from him if I knew I wasn’t doing anything wrong? Why couldn’t I just tell him he should accept me for what I am?

I got drunk in the morning. Started talking. Initially started with a fight. I told him to meet me and tell me he wanted to grow apart. He came after a lot of convincing from me and my friends. We sat down. Started talking. I started missing us. He told me that I exceeded my limits and this was the last chance he had given me. I didn’t ask for another. Why didn’t I? We talked and talked and talked. Tears, laughter, kisses and hugs all started pouring in. Is it still too late to ask for another final chance?

I could sense that this is the last time. I started hating myself. I thought I matured up. I hadn’t. I still was a kid who would do the same thing again and again, which was told not to be done. Why did I act like that? Why didn’t I ever considered the consequences of my actions?

It just felt so good to be in his arms, lying like a small baby. As if nothing could take us apart. Only that moment just lasted for some brief beautiful hours. The last time I will be so comfortably lying on him without caring about the world.

I apologized. I was sincerely sorry for everything.

As the sun started setting, we finally got up to see each other off. The last few minutes where we held hands, felt like eternity. The time which I thought would last forever, was finally coming to an end.

Everything good comes to an end, right? But why did this come to an end? Why didn’t I see his patience running out?

I don’t blame him. I just loved him too much to care about this relationship I guess.

I just wish he knew I always thought we were meant to be..

PS: Just a small advice to everyone out there. Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you’re like him. I really hope you last if you actually love your other half. But don’t make the same mistakes which I made. 🙂 Before it’s too late.

Winds of Change

Part – Un

How would you feel, if you wake up one morning, go to your kitchen to make some coffee for yourself and cannot find your coffee machine at the same spot where you left it last night?

Seems straight from the scene of How I Met Your Mother when Lily moves in with Ted and Marshall.

Well, it’s going to be the same for me from tomorrow evening. No more reason to get up every morning and dreadfully running up and down my place and get ready because my friends would be waiting for me at the Metro station. Numerous messages being exchanged midst “Where are you?”, “How much time till Kashmere Gate?” “Wait for me at McD” “He won’t let us enter the class if we are 5 mins late” etc.

No more reason to bunk to meet your college sweetheart and go out and have fun.

Part – Deux

The part where Lily leaves Marshall for San Francisco only to make each other realize how much they honestly love each other so much. Well the latter comes later.

You know you are meant to be together and things are running perfectly normal, but then all of a sudden, you realize, I need to go out and see the world. Get to know whether I still have the capability to achieve what I desire. Then within a span of few minutes, your priorities just change, you feel trapped because the way you saw your life to be maybe few years back, hasn’t really turned out the way you expected to be. Reason – because you madly fell in love with someone and their priorities became your priorities without they even asking you to change it.

I guess it happens with most of us. Well most may include only 5-10% of the population but still.

You have grown so habitual to waking up at mornings, receiving sweet messages from them to make your day. Or you have someone who can listen to all your complains without a single word, listen to all your weird fantasies without blinking an eye, someone you can run up to when you need to cry or hug. Sad days will become days to strengthen yourself by just keeping it to yourselves or happy days will still be just a simple single “yeay” days because you don’t have someone special to show it off too.

You do know that you still love that person the same way you used to.

I’m already bored writing this. I’m so bored. And I still have one day of college left. With my exam. 😛 I feel so dumb. Maybe I’ll continue this later. 😛

Or maybe not. I know you get bored too by reading me crib all freaking day long! 😛

PS: Try adding silly random tags. Feels awesome. 😀