Tag Archive: Life

Solitude with Addiction

NOTE: This was suppose¬†to be uploaded a day before. ūüėõ

Quietly sitting in a tamarind colored room, nothing distracted me more than my own thoughts.

My home is under renovation and less than 48 hours left before my exam starts. I knew if I lingered at my adobe a little longer, I would probably lose out on my preparation time.

I knew a place where nothing would distract me. No jabbering of people, no clinking of the machines.

It had been nearly 24 hours when I last saw him. The feeling of being away for so long, slowly feasted upon my sadness. My heart carved for his love, my body wanting his gentle touch, but something wasn’t agreeing to it. I knew I had to see him, but the words didn’t seem to come out.

Can I let our craziness take a toll on our future, I wondered.
My mind bluntly refused.

Our love was blossoming everyday. Facing so many ups and downs together, I never felt our fondness for each other diminishing. Even though it was maturing with each passing day, it still had the aura of young, innocent, fresh love.

During our early days, it used to ponder me as to what it was. But as days turned into night and day again, our attachment became stronger. He made me feel beautiful. He made me the princess of our world. He showered his blessings like a Guardian Angel. If ever I lose him (God forbid), I know I’ll enter a submissive black hole.

I love him from the bottom of my heart, like a mother loves a child. My life gets better with him.

It still gets me all teary when I think, how a stranger I hardly knew, came into my life, and turned “You and Me” suddenly to “Ours”.

Life has many beautiful surprises to offer you at times, that you get addicted to them, even in deep slumber.

Okay. So it’s been a pretty long since I wrote my previous post. I was just absent due to my sheer boredom, a lack of happening life, my dull brain which was busy sucking on funny cartoon series.

My birthday went great. My sweet babe made my dream of having the perfect birthday come true. After that nothing great happened.

Anyhow, my college is about to open up in an another day and a half.

Am I looking forward?
–> Well, I was initially – till I didn’t get the shock that companies would be coming to recruit us in just few days. ¬†Down

Am I geared up for something so huge and equally life changing?
–> No. Apparently I’m not even remotely eligible for it. Which totally sucks.

Another shock I got just a few minutes back, while I was accidentally surfing up my future, that I’m too late for that too.

So in short, I’m screwed up from top to bottom, without a glitch!

Am I scared?
–> Yes. Because I know most of my friends will be out, happy and joyfully in just a matter of few months with their aspirations and dreams in their hands, and I’ll be as usual just sitting and singing the songs of my procrastination.

Also the fact which scares me to death is : how I’ll tell my parents about my failure.

At times, I feel as if I should give up on everything.

Will it really make a difference?
–> I was a nobody and will be a nobody!

I thought I’ll make my parents proud, I’ll make them feel that I’m not who they think I am. But dang! I just let that dream of mine loose too. I feel frustrated, weak, incompetent. I have let myself down as usual. My perfect dream of having a ¬†perfect life is perfectly shattered into perfect pieces. I feel like a loser. A mere weed in the ocean of beautiful pearl producing oysters.

They say, don’t lose hope. Everything will be alright. Also when God closes one door, he opens another one for you.


My question to them: When?