Tag Archive: Examination

Okay. So it’s been a pretty long since I wrote my previous post. I was just absent due to my sheer boredom, a lack of happening life, my dull brain which was busy sucking on funny cartoon series.

My birthday went great. My sweet babe made my dream of having the perfect birthday come true. After that nothing great happened.

Anyhow, my college is about to open up in an another day and a half.

Am I looking forward?
–> Well, I was initially – till I didn’t get the shock that companies would be coming to recruit us in just few days.  Down

Am I geared up for something so huge and equally life changing?
–> No. Apparently I’m not even remotely eligible for it. Which totally sucks.

Another shock I got just a few minutes back, while I was accidentally surfing up my future, that I’m too late for that too.

So in short, I’m screwed up from top to bottom, without a glitch!

Am I scared?
–> Yes. Because I know most of my friends will be out, happy and joyfully in just a matter of few months with their aspirations and dreams in their hands, and I’ll be as usual just sitting and singing the songs of my procrastination.

Also the fact which scares me to death is : how I’ll tell my parents about my failure.

At times, I feel as if I should give up on everything.

Will it really make a difference?
–> I was a nobody and will be a nobody!

I thought I’ll make my parents proud, I’ll make them feel that I’m not who they think I am. But dang! I just let that dream of mine loose too. I feel frustrated, weak, incompetent. I have let myself down as usual. My perfect dream of having a  perfect life is perfectly shattered into perfect pieces. I feel like a loser. A mere weed in the ocean of beautiful pearl producing oysters.

They say, don’t lose hope. Everything will be alright. Also when God closes one door, he opens another one for you.


My question to them: When?   

Okay. I’ll confess from the bottom of my heart.

I love the exam season. I love how we get up everyday, pick up a book and start mugging things up. I love how, after the exam, we go back home – complaining how sad the paper was and whoever made it, should be electrocuted. Go to sleep, wake up, and start the same schedule all over again. The pressure of clearing exams is pretty much comforting in itself. Nobody cares how shabby you look (although I have seen this trait for girls in college, they tend to over dress during exams) or how much beard you’ve grown. The all nighters, texting friends how much syllabus they are leaving etc., is just satisfying.

Okay, we do whine about how it keeps going on and on – even more than stone-age might have lasted – but I won’t deny the fact, it just keeps me going in life. At least, I have something to look forward to. I mean look at me right now, vacations (yay! :|) are on, and nothing is motivating me to do something constructive. Even though if I started jotting down points, I’ll probably end up with incalculable list of things to get done and over with.
But pah! I’m just sitting, eating, sleeping and going through the news feeds from my friends on Facebook, reading how they are going to places to celebrate the end-of-exam time (few are still holidaying and few already got done with), few partying out with friends all day long or some leaving for their post-grad or jobs etc. And I’m just stuck here, with my silly brother – who hit me so hard yesterday, that I ended up crying (LOL on me!) and who doesn’t talk to me if I crept in the tiny space between him and the end of the bed.

*The part where I started losing it BIG time*

Fuck Indian society, to be honest. I hate how people are shallow on almost everything. I hate how we have to stick around with parents till we don’t get married or get a job out of your hometown. I hate the fact, that we have to live up with our folks money. I mean cmon, people, get a bloody fucking life. Open up. You see a couple getting cozy – guy is cheap and girl’s a slut. You see a girl wearing short skirt or shorts or anything revealing, it’s a ritual to get stared from all generations – and mostly in a negative way. You can’t step out after a certain period of time to meet your friends. People speak utter shit about you if someone’s jealous of you for something. I hate every moment of it. To be at the top, you must have greens ready to throw in hand, beauty or brains (not necessary even if it’s just beauty), swanky mansion with blings and expensive rides etc. How can you say India’s progressing if people don’t progress with their mindsets?

*The part where I regain my conscience*

India has a rich culture heritage where people from all over the world come to find their inner peace (well at least in few places). And people reach where they are with their efforts. Yes, few were born with platinum spoons in their mouth, but with the rest of the society, it’s hard work  and luck here and there. And I shouldn’t expect to have a win-win situation all the time. There will be defeats, points where you would just want to give up in life, but that’s the whole point of living right? And well, you can’t even expect people to change in a night too. If people are narrow-minded, then why fuss. Just get up and face it. They won’t change, you have to. Adapt to the environment, mold yourself accordingly. World, itself will start looking good. And one shouldn’t get intimidated by others. You are special in a way, just have to find it. Also, stop having issues with people around you. There are definitely million things about which you can worry about. Just ignore it and enjoy life.

So, overall I just realized, how bad hunger can strike your thoughts.

MORAL: Never stay hungry!