Tag Archive: Death

With a…


Well no, not really. God. Exams are finally over. Got done with the toughest semester throughout our engineering life. Couldn’t write in between because of my back to back exam schedule. :/

Anyhow, so it’s been the 2nd day of my vacation and I feel useless already. I have to go for internship for 6 weeks and I guess that is still pretty much undecided. Apart from that, exams went fine. Except one – DSP (Digital Signal Processing), which literally sucked. And I seriously felt like just jumping out of the window as soon as I saw the paper.

Studies apart, had few really nice moments and few shocking.

The good parts:

  1. Exams got over.
  2. I realized that I really can’t live without my boy. (I perpetually happens to me every other day).
  3. I purchased Gems in Restaurant City. (And I wasted them pretty quickly too.)
  4. Birthday update: 30 days left! so bloody excited!
The shocking part:
  1. One of my college teacher expired on the last day of our exam. He had an heart attack and then he fell from the first floor of our college and I guess he died. (I’m really sorry if he didn’t). And there was pool of blood on the ground floor, which made me dizzy and made me pretty nauseating during the paper. RIP to him. He was an amazing teacher (although he hadn’t taught us any subject till now). But he was one the happy teachers. And he’ll always be remembered. God bless his soul.
  2. The people whom I thought I could trust, turned out to be the worst backstabbers.  Me and my boy’s mutual friends, were jealous of him because of his wealth and other bullshit stuff. And because of my friendly nature, took me in a perverted way. So yes. We have plans to bash them up before we graduate.
And I never knew WordPress had some word limit condition. Sucks. And phew. Just made mini pizza’s for few family friends. And yes, they did turn out to be pretty awesome.
I’m so dead tired right now, just need a nice relaxing bed. And can anybody teach me Spanish? It sounds sex! And damn these summer vacations! I wanted to learn drums!!
Adios amigos!
P.S.: I just ate Lindt Double Milk. What an orgasmic chocolate!
PPS: My dad’s off to France and Switzerland. Any amazing chocolate suggestions? Urgent! 😛 And is Goldkenn available there?

The only time when I can cry as much as I want and still come out feeling beautiful and happy, without anyone judging me – My Shower.
It is one place where most of my honest, unadulterated and practical thinking is done.

Today I woke up depressed. Cried my heart out thinking about my future, while taking a bath. My college life is about to get over. It’s so sad to see how – even though unintentionally – I’ll be murdering so many expectations. The burden of how I’ll break the news to my folks of a bleak future, breaks and shatters me into million tiny pieces. I feel as if I’m the worst child ever.

I listen to so many friends of mine, fretting about their future, even though they are doing decently well in academics. I hear them cursing the system and college and how the kids who don’t even the know basics of running of an application, end up scoring marks and they don’t. Yes, it’s disheartening to see that you have more knowledge but just because you can’t vomit the books onto the paper, you are categorized under the mediocre category. So, I eventually just end up encouraging them, oh how amazing person each one of them is, and no matter how the college treats them, I have full confidence that bright future awaits in a near future.

I never say a word about my story. The pain I get up with everyday in my heart including the cry sessions I have in my shower, thinking where will I go after my college gets over. For me, it’s a funeral everyday. But according to people, I’m another person who is least bothered about studies, who is always having a fun time, who can give them tips on how to dress up or do their hair, be bitchy, who can give advice when they need help (friends), and later just ignore me.

I’m sick and tired of this image and it pinches me when people treat me as trash. Just because I don’t speak my lifeline doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings or I’m not concerned. I’m not asking you to sit and listen to my story. All I want is a small gesture of kindness where I get a re-assurance that I’ll do well in life, no matter whatever situation I’m in right now. Nothing else. I know the situation is screwed up, but giving a tiny hope of happiness to someone isn’t really much to ask for. Even little words would work magic for me.

Pretty sad, right? But this is the only place apart from my bathroom, where I can convey my true feelings.

So please God, roll the double 6’s for me already! Everyone is about to reach the end, and I’m still stuck at the beginning of the race. It’s killing me every single moment.

PS: This is pure PMS.

PPS: Only 50 days left for my birthday! Yeay! So excited! 😀