Archive for May, 2011


The only time when I can cry as much as I want and still come out feeling beautiful and happy, without anyone judging me – My Shower.
It is one place where most of my honest, unadulterated and practical thinking is done.

Today I woke up depressed. Cried my heart out thinking about my future, while taking a bath. My college life is about to get over. It’s so sad to see how – even though unintentionally – I’ll be murdering so many expectations. The burden of how I’ll break the news to my folks of a bleak future, breaks and shatters me into million tiny pieces. I feel as if I’m the worst child ever.

I listen to so many friends of mine, fretting about their future, even though they are doing decently well in academics. I hear them cursing the system and college and how the kids who don’t even the know basics of running of an application, end up scoring marks and they don’t. Yes, it’s disheartening to see that you have more knowledge but just because you can’t vomit the books onto the paper, you are categorized under the mediocre category. So, I eventually just end up encouraging them, oh how amazing person each one of them is, and no matter how the college treats them, I have full confidence that bright future awaits in a near future.

I never say a word about my story. The pain I get up with everyday in my heart including the cry sessions I have in my shower, thinking where will I go after my college gets over. For me, it’s a funeral everyday. But according to people, I’m another person who is least bothered about studies, who is always having a fun time, who can give them tips on how to dress up or do their hair, be bitchy, who can give advice when they need help (friends), and later just ignore me.

I’m sick and tired of this image and it pinches me when people treat me as trash. Just because I don’t speak my lifeline doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings or I’m not concerned. I’m not asking you to sit and listen to my story. All I want is a small gesture of kindness where I get a re-assurance that I’ll do well in life, no matter whatever situation I’m in right now. Nothing else. I know the situation is screwed up, but giving a tiny hope of happiness to someone isn’t really much to ask for. Even little words would work magic for me.

Pretty sad, right? But this is the only place apart from my bathroom, where I can convey my true feelings.

So please God, roll the double 6’s for me already! Everyone is about to reach the end, and I’m still stuck at the beginning of the race. It’s killing me every single moment.

PS: This is pure PMS.

PPS: Only 50 days left for my birthday! Yeay! So excited! 😀

Want To Hear A Joke?

So, I’ll continue my title here..

The funniest and lamest joke ever to be heard?
Ans: MY COLLEGE.

Definitely hands down on this one.

Reason:

Well, these days I have my external (major/final) practical examinations going on for my current semester. First one was on Friday, the 13th (Sounds spooky, right!). So, we had two vivas today (16th, Monday). From 10 am to 5 pm (as per the schedule). And our class of 60 students is divided into 2 batch – Group A and Group B. Group A (the initial roll numbers) had Data Warehousing viva from 10 to 1 pm; while Group B had OOSE (Object Oriented Software Engineering). And for the next time slot (2 – 5 pm), subjects were swapped for the vivas.

Our first viva (Data Warehousing & Data Mining) started (not literally) at 11.00 am. This is the end term/semester practical exam, I’m talking about here, which actually changes our final result.

So anyhow, 11.00, we are sitting in the lab, waiting for our teacher to turn up. We ask our lab assistant, when will any of the teachers (either our subject teacher or our external teacher) will turn up. The tape was kept on loop for half an hour lullabying “5 mins, and he’ll be here.”

Finally, at 11.30, our sweet-ass assistant comes up and announces that we can do whatever we want as our final experiment from our files. Oh! How lucky we felt at that time! All of my group members, ran for their files, copied whichever experiments they felt were easy for them to explain to the external teacher. It hardly took us 15 mins to get our jobs done.

Again, we started pestering our assistant teacher, asking when will our teachers arrive for the viva. Monotonously he replied, ” She is from USIT (another school, from our university). And she said she will be here in sometime”. So we sat there, re-revising every possible thing we could. DWDM seemed an easy subject. You could speak or debate on the topics in this somehow.

Time: 12.00 pm

No sign of any of the faculty or external teacher. Sick and tired of the text, we gave away with our warehousing and started preparing for our next viva.

Time: 12.30 pm

Our external finally turns up. We breathe a sigh of relief. She starts with our viva. She asked us 2 questions, and our answers to both were futile. So my expectations of having a good nice scoring viva, swept away like the inscriptions made on the sand during a full moon day, in just few mins.

PS: This is just the end of Group A story. Group B’s external hadn’t even turned up till now, even hours after the scheduled time of their viva.

Time: 2.00 pm

The scheduled time for my next viva. OOSE. Group B students are forcefully made to leave the lab. We take our seats. Our teacher allotted us the question we did in our files. We start writing. No clue about our OOSE external. Both the groups are literally exhausted.

Time: 3.30 pm

She finally turns up. And that teacher is talking like jungle-es. She takes group B’s viva first, who are already done with their second viva. And then our turn. My jaws actually fell open with the kind of questions she asked and the way she was talking to all of us. So anyhow, by 4.30 we were done with our vivas.

End of Part 1.

Part 2:

Our batch has the highest number of students who failed to secure even the minimum defined percentile of attendance, which is 75%. We are around 41 students out of a bunch of 60-65, who are being “apparently detained” for not being regular with the lectures. And I have the least = 43%.

So our bloody dean, asked us to get our parents to college (Oh, yes. 3rd year, and we have to bring our parents to meet and talk to some teacher, sign an undertaking form for having a short attendance and acknowledging the fact that we can get detained next semester for failing to do the same).

And our head of the department for our branch, is such a jerk, that he is not letting us get away with it easily. So on wednesday, we have to go to college with our parents and sign a stupid form.

And I actually got bored and over with the aggression I had with my college, and few other intimate things in my life which were killing me. Because I actually started writing this from 7.45 pm and right now it’s 1 am. 😛

I had to deal with a lot in between, ranging from my mother yelling at my younger brother, to the same. And passing away few mins here and there, just made it more jaded.

So, I’m off. And I won’t be taking my folks to college for such a silly thing.